The in between

Many of you may have wondered what happened....where in the world did we go.....why haven't we posted an update since March 14th....frankly I wasn't much in the mood...
When you find out something like this, you tend to really not know which way you're going....what to think and where to turn, what to say.... things seem to fly through your mind, tearing away at your mind, body and soul. These things were made up of alot of what ifs, maybes, and if only's....You try to find explanation for it all...why us...what did we do....what could we have done differently...and at some point along the way we found the answer....maybe not what we were looking for....a miracle, a chance that they were wrong....but something totally different, unexpected.....a deep realization of our faith...what true peace of the soul really is, and having Someone to turn to when no one else can provide.

Let's turn the page back to March 15th... After we found out that it was Full Trisomy 18, I honestly have to admit that the tears continued to flow....each little thing...dreams of those first steps...the first time he said mama or dada, and even those dreaded trips to walmart filled with "I wannas" and the following "no's", even the changing of diapers only a mother could stand.... were shattering before our eyes. We burned up the Internet looking at all the pages we could trying to understand what is was we were facing...read story after story of families, much like ours...and the more we read the more we came to see our story, our journey was one that many have lived...the amino...the results...the end. Of course we hoped that our ending would be different...who wouldn't...

Over the weeks that past we also had more sonograms, each one show the same thing...his little heart further to the right...his weight and measurements falling further behind... all classic...classic signs of the stories we read...

We started the process of preparation...and I will admit this part is very hard to type....harder than the actual doing looking back.... we talked with the OB, pediatrician, the funeral home, and the memorial company.... each one of them answered our questions, comforted us, and help us prepare for the worse case scenario. Kellie and I talked alot during this time...discussing the what ifs, the "when this happens", and our feelings....

We had many people, some I bet are reading this right now, asking for updates. Each and every time time it was the same...no change in the diagnosis....nothing more to add... Kellie is doing fine, and if we didn't know it would be a pretty normal pregnancy...and right now I want to thank each and everyone of you for your concern during that time.

I personally got down on my knees every night during this time thanking God for my life, my family, Aden....and asked him for his strength, the health of my wife, and in the words of the our Lord for this cup to pass if it was His will.

Let's move to a specific date... April 24, 2008. Late that evening Aden turned over (Kellie's words) something like nothing she had felt before....Friday the 25th he moved a little but nothing like he had been doing for the few weeks before. Saturday came with about the results until about 7 in the evening when he gave us a good strong kick/punch.... and from that point forward he's movements really stopped... Sunday evening came and still nothing...we sat up until 2am talking discussing the possibilities...what if this was it....what are we gonna do....weeks before our doctors gave us the advise that after 24 hours of decreased, if not ceased movement, do not pass go...do not collect the 200.00...but head straight to the office...which is what we did Monday at 8:00 am.... and to our relief the whooshing sound of a strong heart came out of the Doppler speaker.....

Our next milestone was yesterday, Thurday, May 1st...our regular weekly visit... still no real movement, maybe a push or shove from Aden on Tuesday...but nothing more....Our OB performed the sonogram and we knew within a matter of seconds that his heart beat was gone...and that sometime between Tuesday and Thursday, our Lord had taken him home... We, as a couple decided to induce.The agony of letting nature take it's course over the next few weeks was something we could not bear...and at 10:30 PM on Thursday May 1, 2008, the vessel that carried Aden Reese Post's soul for 37 weeks came into the world... at 3lbs. 10oz. and 16" long. And yes the Full Trisomy 18 diagnosis was right....all the common signs were there...clenched hands, rocker bottom feet, low set ears... I will add his little face was perfect...

We spent our few moments admiring the most beautiful gift that God could have given to us...a life changing moment I must admit...and I must confess that I feel like I understand now how God felt when he gave His Son for us...not that I am comparing our journey to His....but more like a glimpse of understanding...

We have made arrangements for Sunday May 4, 2008 at 2pm for a graveside service, and for those who are wondering...we ask that instead of flowers, plants, or anything else...that a donation be made to the Trisomy 18 Foundation Aden's Page or the preschool at First Baptist Church in Sulphur Springs, Texas.

Again thank you for all you prayers and support...For those of you that can't think of anything to say...don't worry, we understand fully, there were times when I could find words to describe how I felt...your lack of words are nothing to feel bad about...it's a funny situation to be in... 7 months along and find out a diagnosis of Trisomy 18...far from a 10 week miscarriage...and from losing a child who is any age...I like to call it "The in between"........ and don't be afraid to ask us questions...especially if you have a child that has just been diagnosed with Trisomy 18. One of the many reasons that I believe that God have led us down this journey was to offer our help to anyone we can.....